Our Story
My husband and I met in the summer of 1995. It was a couple years later we decided to get married in a church ceremony and start our life together. Yes, we’ve been married a LONG time.
Having kids wasn’t a subject we talked about beforehand. Looking back now, I find that a little odd. What if he didn’t want to have kids and I did? What if he wanted seven and I wanted two? There are a lot of discussion points that should be brought up before you say “I do.”
Fortunately for us, we were on the same page. It wasn’t even like we really “decided” to start having a family. Does that make sense? It just kind of happened, like our souls were connecting and guiding us as to what we should do next. After nine months, nothing was happening. Now it was time to talk.
Trouble Brewing
I had some “woman” trouble growing up, so quite frankly I wasn’t surprised. In fact, when it was all said and done after I had my children, my mom told me she was surprised that I was able to have children. I didn’t have cancer or anything major happen, just minor things…hospitalized for a swollen ovary, lack of menstruation (TMI?) – those kinds of things. So I’m not really sure why we thought that it was unlikely, but we did. But anyway, getting back to my story.
After nine months, nothing was really happening. I was taking my basal temperature everyday, documenting it in my notebook and taking ovulation and pregnancy tests. We had everything down to days…hours even when things were supposed to “happen.” Well, nothing happened.
Finally, my husband and I decided to see a specialist. We discussed everything with her and she was very understanding and caring. Her first option was to put me on Clomid. She wanted to do a blood test first to make sure we were good to go.
She came back into the room with my results and said, “please sit down.” Ok, when someone tells you to please sit down, you get kinda freaked out! She said this hasn’t happened to me very often, but it has happened. I’d like to announce that you are pregnant! Wait, what? Come again? P-r-e-g-n-a-n-t? OH YES! HALLELUJAH! I get to have a baby! But wait! Now I’m scared! What did I know about raising a baby? I was in the late stages of being a baby myself. Ok, not really, but I was in the early stages of my twenties. Would I be a good mother? Will I know what to do? Would I raise them correctly? I had so many questions!
Hailey
Eight months and a week later, she came. She was so small! She was 5 pounds when we brought Hailey home. We were a mess. Was she breathing? Was she eating enough? Was she going to the bathroom like she should? Was she sleeping enough? Wow, this parenting was hard! And let me tell you. She was a wild one.
As she grew, she was a little monkey. We couldn’t keep her in her crib. That was a waste of money. Ha. We typically would find her outside kissing frogs (no, I’m not joking) or fixing a wounded birds wing. She was always dirt from head to toe and a lover of animals. Two years into raising our daughter, we had a discussion this time about baby #2. Let me tell you, this was a lot easier. We stopped all preventative measures on July 31 and by August the test came back positive! Yes! No taking basal temperatures or anything this round. Baby 2 was also an easy pregnancy mostly because I knew more of what I should expect. My husband and I had decided to have two children, so I wanted to relish each day of this pregnancy. I remember thinking to myself…I’m really going to remember this kick, or I’m really focusing on what this feels like today. Being pregnant and having an actual person grow inside you is amazing.
Tyler
Those memories faded a bit, but I know I loved every moment. My son Tyler came right on time and was a much less dramatic delivery than my daughter. I remember thinking how all of a sudden my daughter seemed like a giant compared to this little person. And then and there, our family was complete.
My son was a spitfire like his sister. He would tease us all a lot. I have phone messages saved after all these years of him prank calling my husband. He was three or four when he did this! What a card. He loved the ‘backhoe’ and was always outside. He didn’t want to be very far away from us though.
If you notice my story of Ty isn’t nearly as long as Hailey. Isn’t that the way it goes? Baby #2 gets less pictures, less videos, and less story time than Baby #1. However, they get the benefits of us being more relaxed because we had a little experience under our belt. Or maybe we were just more tired?
There are times I missed out on because I was working full time as a banker. I regret that now. But maybe you always feel that way after the fact? You always hear how money and position isn’t that important, but do you ever really feel that way? I wish I could turn back the clock and do it all over again and really be present and relish the moments more. The time flew by. There was a lot of stress, but a lot of fun too. I could have yelled less and enjoyed the bedtime stories more. But no use crying over spilled milk. Being a working mom taught them other things that they might have not gotten otherwise.
Through The Years
Through the years, we got to enjoy little league baseball and softball, basketball, volleyball, trap shooting, music concerts, traveling together, their first Disney trip, good times and heartaches too. Those are the hardest. When your child suffers, you suffer. More than anyone can describe, unless you’ve been in that situation. It’s torture. You have to put on a brave face and not show them you’re hurting too. And then you run to your bedroom and cry your eyes out. Kids can hurt you more than any type of hurt you’ve felt before.
Life Today
What does our life look like today? My daughter is home from her second year of college. Today, she found a lone jack rabbit in a field that was almost driven over. Guess what I have in my house now?! Some things never change.
My son has been busy taking his ACT test, playing sports, working in the field and will soon be going off to college himself. They say it ‘goes fast.’ You really don’t believe it because you are always hoping and wishing for the next stage. I wish they could roll over. I wish they could walk. I wish they could talk. I wish they could go to school. I wish they could drive. I wish they could date. Well, maybe not that last one. You don’t really realize how fast it DOES go until you are staring at an empty nest and then it hits you like a rock. It did go fast. It’s a ride. Enjoy it and be as warm as you can. Sometimes we put too much equity in things that really aren’t that important in the full scheme of things. Remember to Just Live Joy.
Motherhood has taught me: Patience, Perseverance, Love, Negotiations & Compromise
‘Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride’
-Gary Allen
Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers. No wonder there is a day devoted to you. You deserve it!